I realized today doing the math that we EACH are over 120 pounds down from the last picture here on the left. Michael needs smaller shirts now because the one on the right is swallowing him up.

#ShoppingTripSoon

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

So proud of my husband Michael Besson Sr.! He continues to own his health journey and is doing awesome! He had lost about 20 pounds in almost 4 years just tagging along my journey. But since he’s owned his own health journey and also become a 100% Whole Food Plant Based Nutritarian since May, 2017, he has lost 84 MORE pounds PLUS he has lost high blood pressure and off medication for it since August 27th 2017! His blood pressure readings continue to be not just normal but optimal! Praise God!

#SmallChangesSmallResults

#BigChangesBigResults

#BigChangeTheFilm

#DudeFactor

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

On Phantom Fat (or Body Dysmorphia), Accepting Your Body Type, Reshaping the Body and Getting Stronger, and Loving The Skin You’re In

Okay, my title is long but hopefully this post will not be too long. Many people who have lost a substantial amount of weight suffer to some extent from body dysmorphia—some mildly, some severely. It takes a while (often years) for the brain to fully catch up to the body. I’m not in the camp of thinking I’m still a size 24. But I sometimes forget I am now a size 6 (and some 4s on top especially). I sometimes am genuinely surprised when I try on an outfit and it fits. Sometimes I pass by a mirror and don’t fully recognize my image for a few seconds. Sometimes I scan a seat on the train in between two people and wonder if I’ll fit. I always do but feel nervous at first. That’s because when I was obese I always spilled over into the next seat and even when tired I would have rather stood than risk embarrassing myself by squeezing into a seat. For those of us who have been obese for decades, it can be a longer journey to really SEE our new bodies, especially when we’re still a work in progress. As I slowly increase muscle, I like looking slimmer but am frustrated by changes such as my belly fat not shrinking as fast as my chest (which honestly just can’t—I hope—shrink further :))

Two days ago I put on a dress that I felt went well with my shape (smaller on top, curves on hips). I received compliments but I looked at my picture and just saw my smaller upper waist and wider hips. Those hips! My husband just shakes his head and says “THIS is an ideal woman’s shape; every guy knows that.” But apparently every woman hasn’t gotten the memo. 🙂

I wore this dress to go see the movie The Black Panther and go out to dinner with my family. I even made a meme joking about how it was the knockoff version of actress Lupita Nyong’o’s red carpet dress (see meme below). My older daughter is so nice and always says I could model like Lupita. I answer, Lupita is tiny. When looking up information on her, I discovered that she too is a size 6. She’s a little shorter than me and my hips are wider but hey, I thought, we can’t all have the same shape and measurements. At the end of the day, I decided to continue working on SEEING my real me and to accept where I am on my journey, including my shape.

—————

“Body-image experts say it’s not uncommon for people, especially women, who have lost a lot of weight to be disappointed to some extent to discover that they still aren’t “perfect.” The excess fat is gone when they reach their goal weight, but they may have sagging skin, cellulite or a body shape that they still deem undesirable. Like Hicks, some even continue to see themselves as though they are overweight.

Some specialists use the term “phantom fat” to refer to this phenomenon of feeling fat and unacceptable after weight loss.

“People who were formerly overweight often still carry that internal image, perception, with them,” says Elayne Daniels, a psychologist in Canton, Mass., who specializes in body-image issues. “They literally feel as if they’re in a large body still.”

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/t/phantom-fat-can-linger-after-weight-loss/

Extra pampering and self-care.

Well, it has been years since I’ve been to a hair salon. I just always do my own hair. But this week I decided to do extra self care, especially since it’s school vacation week. Yesterday the whole family went to the movies and out to dinner at a Thai Vegan restaurant. Today, I did a full body weight lifting/strength training workout. I walked the 15–20 minutes to the hair salon this afternoon and got my long locs professionally done. Then I walked and jogged back home. I felt so great moving outside and enjoying the nice weather.

#PlantPoweredRunner

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

My Run, My Pace, My Peace

As I ran this morning, this verse came to mind after I said to myself that this is my run at my pace:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

Yesterday was one of those kind of tough autistic days (my kids are legally blind with low vision but two also on the autism spectrum with additional disabilities) where we dealt with several behavioral issues culminating in an outburst that caused me to almost jump out of my skin. I sent the kids upstairs early, loaded the dishwasher, wiped down surfaces then watched an interesting documentary on natural cancer treatments/cures available in Germany (“Cancer Can Be Killed”) before heading up to bed.

I’ve long since given up emotional eating—even with healthy foods—by God’s grace, and believe me it is by His grace. Popular culture tells us, “Come on! You’ve had a bad day! You deserve that (ice cream, cake, donut, pizza, candy bar, alcohol,chips, _______)!”

But you know what I’ve realized that we deserve? We deserve to live in good health. We deserve to have love, support, and community. We deserve to be able to move our bodies to the best of our abilities the way God has made us. We deserve to put food in it’s proper place and context—as fuel and nourishment and NOT as a drug or numbing agent. It never really works or lasts for long anyway. When the affects of the food comas wear off, we are right back where we started or even worse off due to the additional abuse heaped on our bodies. We deserve peace.

This morning I still needed that quiet time to myself. So I put on my workout clothes and went downstairs in the small gym to run alone with my headphones on, My music 🎶 playlist on, and decided to just do a nice, sustained run (30 minutes run with a 5-minute warm up and cool down walk) at a slow and steady pace with a few inclines for a total of 2 miles. I felt more relaxed doing my own pace. I really do like running with my family but sometimes—and today was one of those days—I feel good doing my own run, at my own pace, in my own peaceful space.

#TreadmillMom

#BackYardRunner

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

Friends, keeping it simple is the way to go for weight release, maintenance, and health. Most days my breakfast is either

1) A cup of bean stew, a couple pieces of fresh fruit, a tablespoon of chopped walnuts

Or

2) A cup of bean stew, a pound of roasted cauliflower, a piece of fruit, 1 Tablespoon of chopped walnuts or ground flaxseeds

Or

3) Several pieces of fruit and the walnuts.

It is enough to keep me satisfied until lunch, usually 4–5 hours later but sometimes longer depending on my school day as an itinerant teacher.

Today, I made a nice bowl for breakfast that was simple, delicious, and filling. I realized that when I eat just oatmeal and fruit that I am always hungry before lunch even if adding a healthy whole fat like walnuts or flaxseeds or even if adding vegetables. But more fruit and less oats does the trick for me.

In the bowl pictured above was 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 1/2 cup unsweetened cashew milk, 2 tablespoons rolled oats (microwave 1&1/2 minutes), add 1 chopped apple, (reheat 1 minute optional), 1 small banana, 1 tablespoon chopped walnuts. Then I had 1/2 of an orange. All that is less than 350 calories in case you’re interested and includes enough of all macro and micronutrients for health. Plus over 10 grams of fiber just for this meal.

Lunch was a big bowl of spring mix salad, a roasted sweet potato, a leftover piece of bean loaf I put together Friday without a recipe, and a nut-based dressing, plus a pear.

Dinner will be the Black and white bean stew in my book plus cashews cooked in (already cooked a huge pot) and more fruit with a little bit of chopped pecans.

No snacks needed as I felt satisfied and not hungry at all until the next meal.

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

Out In The Yard Again…For Now 🙂

We’ve been itching to go running in the yard again. Nini always mentions it while we’re on the treadmill. But with the freezing weather and ice and snow, it wasn’t really practical. But the snow and ice has melted (for now) and I did a quick sweep up of debris. AND it got up to 50 in Boston which is practically summer! 😆 Michael Jr. and Nini wanted to run. Mika is still recovering from another cold virus so stayed in. 5 minutes in, Michael Sr. joined us. I jumped to week 4 of the C25k app and Michael Jr. did great with this first 3 and 5 minute run intervals! We all had fun and the Fitbit measured 1.56 miles right in our little yard. If it weren’t for the sweet potatoes still in the oven and the beans in the pressure cooker ready for the stew I’d join Michael Sr. for another run (he went back out 🙂 ). But that’s okay because household duties is a vocation too and we have to live a balanced life. Running outside again was great!

#TreadmillMom

#BackyardRunners

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

Valentines Run Done!

Nini and I did the virtual Valentines Day run in the past two days but I forgot it was a 2.14 mile run (should have been obvious to me 😆) and we ended up doing 3.1 miles. But it was fun and we were so glad to open up our race completion package from Gone For A Run. Heart Metals, running bibs, caps, and t-shirts!! So cool! Mika and I finished the Cinderella Run over a week ago but forgot to take pictures. I love the slogan on that Cinderella shirt—wait ‘till you see it! P.S. Nini says she misses running in the yard. Me too. I’m going to see how grubby it is in the yard or not later and see if it’s doable for tomorrow.

#Runners

#Love2Run

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

It was a little challenging for Nini to get back into the routine of our morning runs together. Half the time she wanted to do her own thing with the run/walk intervals so I just let her do her own thing and did mine following the app’s cues. Two-thirds of the way through we got in sync. We BOTH felt better after this workout.

#TreadmillMom

#TreadmillGirl

#PlantBasedGodsGrace

I’ve been recovering from this cold that has been recirculating and finally feeling better now that I’ve readjusted and removed a few stressors from my life. Nini couldn’t wait for me to recover to run so she announced that she was going to put on her workout clothes to run. So here she is giggling and running (she giggles when she runs 🙂).

#PlantBasedGodsGrace